New Story (6/2)

I forgot about how I’d decided to use real names because of Bob Glück and I edited the last couple entries to take out the names. I’m not going to add them in again, but I will use real names from here on out. 

I love it when I remember a dream for a split second, even if I can’t hang on to much. That just happened to me. I can sort of see a place in my dream, under an above-ground train. Groundhog’s Day, the movie, seems relevant to this dream, too, but I’m not sure how yet. Have you seen that movie? My birthday is Groundhog’s Day, and I’ve seen it. I don’t especially love it. I like What About Bob? a lot more. I like Bill Murray, for the most part; the way he smiles often feels like breaking the 4th wall, like it’s cutting through something and actually landing in my lap as an emotion. 

I just tried to find something I’d written about Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off but I couldn’t find it.

I remembered my dream a little more. Natalya and Nancy, Natalya’s mom, were in it. I’ve dreamt about Nancy a lot. I’m not sure why. Natalya was packing up to go out of town. I was hanging out with her while she packed, I think. It was hot, and summer, but shady in the house. Natalya was going to Europe. 

From the basis of my mom’s house, I felt like and I still feel like a lot is possible. My imagination was harmonious with the seasons!!!!!! I want that for myself now. Like when I take a walk in the park. The lush trees right now. The little baby dog picks up all sorts of plastic. There are so many people at the park. I don’t want to live in the city. I don’t want so much plastic.

I’ve fostered a lot of dogs now. Somehow I think it will fix something for me when I do it. More, more, more responsibility.